Wake the Hell Up !…Next.

There comes a time in our life which is different for everyone. There is not one way, one path that individuals should be treated, or find resolution in their life trauma. There does come a time when individuals as well as their loved ones want to say, scream, use sign language, neon sign in front door, or water boarding to say, “WAKE THE HELL UP, NEXT.” There are too many victims of abuse, victims of life trauma, those who have had terrible childhoods, and less than adequate parenting that do not know how nor do they want to change for the better. Yes, sadly there are individuals that whine, complain and use the label for their advantage. There are recurrent stories of trauma, re-hashing the trial and tribulations of abuse, and go on and on about how rough their life is. I have a news flash for all those suffering from “whiner syndrome” you are not alone, and you can do it; however you clearly do not want to.

There are too many therapists who are too cautious to avoid conflict and avoid confrontation, too many family members that walk on egg shells not confronting the pathological sibling. Ugh, ugh and triple ugh. I am sick of the ineffective therapists, those that are afraid of hurting one’s ego after two years of stale therapy, or the family memebers that close one eye to their child who is now thirty-something.

These individuals are proficient at bringing themselves down into the pits of depression and hell as well as bringing their peers and family members down.  Wake up, confront these individuals, change therapists, or become strong enough to care about yourself and not worry about the impact. A polite, ” I am sick of hearing this, I love you care about you, but it has been ten years and I still hear about your victimization.”  Life can suck, why make it worse by hanging with the whiners, “I am not good enough,” “This person is better off than me.” Hey, I have an innovative idea, change therapists, or see the positives that you are waking up breathing air, and you just might be able to make a difference to someone else’s life and yours if you try and do something different.

Yes, rape, sex abuse, a child’s death is hard to deal with, in fact it can take years and you may never be over it completely. A marriage may suck, you may have a selfish, uncaring spouse or a teenager who is stuck in the stagnation of life. Okay, well I personally am tired and your family members are tired of hearing the same redundant story line.  My life sucks, I have nothing, why does this have to happen to me? I am always in emotional pain. Do you have any idea how long I have dealt with this? You just do not understand. You do not care about me. You do not want to hear me do you? I am so depressed. Life is not fair? and my favorite of all time. You have not been what I have been through so you will never understand what it is like. Veterans suffering post-traumatic stress syndrome use this one frequently.

The hallmark, red flag, of avoiding treatment, or prolonging treatment are the statements, “Therapy just does not work.” “They just want to push medication.” ” I will always be like this, ho humm I suppose I have to deal with it.”

I no longer bite on these pathetic statements of infinite depression, and the need to be coddled for a lifetime. Individuals will either get help, change, realize they need someone in their life to walk a path of help or NOT. If it is the not, then that is how it will be. I refuse to argue with patients, plead for them to seek help my stance now is to be supportive, loving, and understanding. I present the many options, attempt to empower them, should they refuse and continue their negative re-affirmations of ” I am a jerk and life sucks.”  Goodbye, their are others that truly need my time and will work hard at pushing through life stress and trauma. In life we need to triage the emotionally handicapped that we run into. As in an emergency department we need to have that triage center in our mind for our OWN mental health. Should their be someone who is draining you, bringing you down, “bye bye.”

To all those that are awake, enjoy life, triage your relatives, peers, and co-workers. You will be glad you did…..NEXT.