Resolving Fear
Fear has become endemic in our country. The government and media has pushed fear down our throats for years. Fear sells. Fear causes anxiety, immobilization, indecisiveness, panic, and rumination just to name a few of the side effects.
Fear can also be a motivator, a fight or flight response to evade or mobilize out of an uncomfortable situation. When fear becomes incapacitating it effects many aspects of our life. It can disrupt sleep, change our eating habits and destroy relationships.
From the simplest phobias like fear of insects or spiders to fear of loss, fear needs to be addressed and confronted directly if one is to ever resolve it. Many of us worry to the point of inducing fear in our lives. It can prevent us from being positive individuals.All abused victims, whether sexually abused, physically abused or emotionally abused, experience fear. We frequently worry when the next episode occurs. We may get reassurance from the perpetrator with apologies only to be betrayed, time and time again. This cycle must be broken. It can only be broken by confronting the issues and mobilizing to change your life.
Instead of looking at fear as incapacitating, we need to re frame it and see it as a motivator for change. Many times, this only happens when the emotional pain becomes too great to bear. WE CAN NOT CONTROL EXTERNAL FORCES OR OTHERS. We can only control our self, our own emotions, and our perspective on life and what life brings to our table. I could not control my perpetrator. The emotionally abused wife cannot control her demeaning husband. We can control what we do. We can disclose, find help and move forward. Over simplified ? Maybe, but life’s problems are frequently resolved with the simplest solutions. It is our rumination and fear that complicates it.
Cookbook responses in treatment have been effective, however I frequently see relapse. A full recognition that failure is ok is helpful. It is with failure and learning from our mistakes when we truly benefit and kick fear directly in it’s posterior. I am not talking about rational fear, the fear of real danger, but irrational fear that needs to be corrected if we are to live a fulfilling life and risk with new experiences. Behavioral modification can be effective, however therapists also should look at alternative methods of healing, empowerment , and a psychodynamic approach. Once again research does pan out to show us a variety of treatment interventions are more effective than just one approach.
Confronting fear has fared well for me. I became tired of the lingering effects, and frustrated at how it can be incapacitating. Yes, I failed and I risked again, until I reached a successful outcome.
How Above His Shoulders can help:
In my book, I address my fear of disclosing and my fear of facing my insecurities. I covered up with false pride. Humility equals wisdom. My path was long, and I overcame my fears, recognizing that if someone was going to love me, they were going to love me for who I really am. I dumped my bravado, dumped my insecurities, and found confidence in who I am. Fear can be overcome. I promise you.
Become a fan on facebook. See the photographs of the actual oak tree and the authors home, as well as a sneak peak at the new book. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Above-His-Shoulders/274131107309?ref=nf
