What are the Impacts of Sexual Abuse in Future Relationships?

It is very difficult to predict outcomes in relationships due to sexual abuse. It depends on many variables. The duration of the abuse, the age of the victim when abused, relationship to the perpetrator, and severity of the abuse. Other variables include, has the victim worked through any issues they have, and are they introspective in regards to their symptoms.

Typically one may see distancing around intimacy, lack of disclosure, bursts of anger, and/or depressive episodes. Certain triggers can occur that bring back memories from the abuse. In the psychiatric field this is known as a conversion disorder. A conversion disorder is where actual physical symptoms manifest themselves triggered by previous memories from the sexual abuse or any sever trauma. This is commonly seen in Post Traumatic Stress Disorders.

Victims of abuse know how to be victims. They can easily fall into a “door Mat” type syndrome, going out of their way to please. What is not discussed as commonly by the therapeutic community is that the victim also has learned to be a perpetrator. Not a sexual perpetrator but a verbal emotionally hurtful perpetrator. Women who have been raped as well as men who were sexually abused can be verbally assaulting,demeaning, and critical. The soft side of victims needs to be recognized and empowered.

Teaching one to look for red flags in relationships are crucial to stop the cycle of choosing inadequate partners. Look for signs of excessive alcohol intake, here is where victims may self medicate to cover up an underlying depression or anger. A relationship is a team. Two people coming together, to not only sacrifice time for each other, but to support and love each other in crisis. Victims of abuse are able to learn this. Once there is support, true affection and trust, the relationship will be nurtured and able to grow. Open communication, knowing that one will not experience intentional hurt is of the utmost importance. Victims of abuse are hyper-vigilant, scanning their environment, questioning true intent. Consistent trust and the fostering of a solid foundation of communication will overcome many obstacles.

Please remember, it is one thing to read the words on this blog or in a text. It is completely different to actually implement it into behavior. Relationships can work between two individuals , when one has experienced abuse. It takes time, dedication, and total acceptance for it to flourish.

It is possible and the pay off is a partner to grow old with and share the stories of the past with laughter and grace.

How the book,Above His Shoulders will help:

In writing the book the only way I knew how to help others was to be brutally honest about my past. The reader will understand that sexual abuse as a child can impact relationships. I displayed anger, distancing, and fear of rejection. Only until recently have I learned how to trust and let love into my life.  The book is a real, honest depiction of the unfolding of my life and the healing that took place.

Become a fan on facebook. See the photographs of the actual oak tree and the authors home, as well as a sneak peak at the new book. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Above-His-Shoulders/274131107309?ref=nf