How to Respond When Your Child Discloses They Were Sexually Abused ?

Depending on the age, most children will not approach their parents disclosing,” So and so sexually abused me.” Behavior varies from unexplained spontaneous tears, reluctance to go to a relatives house, anger and  a variety of other symptoms.

When you do find out, your feelings will be overwhelming. It is very very important to not over react. Remember, your child is scared, hesitant, and most likely was threatened to remain silent about the incidents. Warmth, understanding, calm voice, and support are very crucial.

Posture; if your child is small and young in age, sit down at their level.   Have eye to eye contact, reassure them they did the right thing by sharing. Do not confront them in an abrasive manner. They do not need to feel as if they are in an interrogation room at a police department. I realize this will be next to impossible, however your child is likely feeling shameful,guilty,and scared. Interrogation only enhances these feelings, and also dilutes future therapy assessments by a professional.

Explain to them they have done the correct thing and that they can always come to you. By your child coming to you to disclose, you have successfully laid the groundwork for a supportive, trusting environment.

Reassure them this will not happen again, as you need to mobilize to at least obtain the perpetrators name. Approximately thirty percent of perpetrators are family members. You need to make two calls,ASAP, the Department of Children and Family Services in your state, and the local police department.

Begin looking for a professional therapist who specializes in assessing and treating victims of abuse. Do not run yourself down, ie: I am a bad person for allowing this to happen, and I should of been aware etc. Your child disclosed to you, this in itself is awesome!  Most children do not disclose and carry this with them for years..

Ask your child what they need from you ?  Until you get an appointment with a professional, you might want to look for distractions for the child. Games, movies,or favorite meal are all good forms of distraction. This issue will eventually get plenty of attention , leave it to the professionals. You are not the police department nor the therapist, be the loving supportive parent. This will reassure them that you will be there for them. No one is prepared for their children to disclose they have been sexually abused. There is no one correct response. Reading this page, only gives a few structured guidelines. Again if your child discloses to you, they perceive you as a loving, trusting parent. Be there for them, they are asking for your help.

How the book,Above Hi Shoulders will help you :

In the book I speak about how I was afraid to disclose, and why. I also bring the reader on my journey of how and when I disclosed. I relate my therapy session, and how my supportive therapist empowered me as well as how Native American Spirituality helped me become a stronger more hopeful individual. Therapists will see how alternative means of healing can be powerful in supporting abused victims.

Become a fan on facebook. See the photographs of the actual oak tree and the authors home, as well as a sneak peak at the new book. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Above-His-Shoulders/274131107309?ref=nf

For more information please go to :  http://www.peaceandhealing.com/