Parents of Sex Abuse Victims

Frequently I am asked, “How are my parents?”  and ” How did they handle the release of the book? An overwhelming positive response. They have supported and touted the book, and understand the importance of helping others. My family taught me early on the importance of truth. As in the book, whether it was a mistake at a retail store of ten cents in my father’s favor or an error in the favor of the retail store my father would give it back and address the issue. Truth and integrity are very important issues in all relationships, as well as in life.

Working with hundreds of families with children who have been abused there is always some guilt that parents have. Could they of done something different? Why didn’t they know? They feel a responsibility and at times have not forgiven themselves. Children need to forgive their parents, and parents need to forgive themselves. Why carry on a life sentence of penance? At some point there needs to be resolution to move forward. We all have made mistakes. We all have been naive. We realize there are not safe harbors in all the corners of our world. With forgiveness comes acceptance, with acceptance comes unconditional love. My parents have been my emotional step ladders in my path of life. I can only try to be the same with my children. I always try to look at my shortcomings, and my faults. I have plenty of them. My father embedded in my brain, “You can be whatever you want, and enjoy what you do, but never look down on any man or woman you are never better than anyone else and no one else is better than you just because they may measure success by monetary gain.”

Parents, support your children who have suffered abuse. Love them unconditionally. Understand their misguided anger. Understand your guilt, and let it go. Become a family of love, support and friendship. Role model the importance of forgiveness. I guarantee you, your children will need to learn forgiveness and need to implement it in their path of life. Humility and forgiveness are very, very important traits to live a happy life.

Life trauma can and will make you stronger. It can strengthen a weak family and solidify a strong family. We all learn, we walk a little farther down the path of life. Guilt, anger, resentment, and jealousy will eat your soul alive. To rid yourself of these ugly emotion forgiveness MUST  occur. It is not easy, it is a process, and the result is a happier life. Who does not want that as an end result?

I thank my parents often. To my Mom and Dad I thank you. Happy Birthday Dad. Wow! 79 today, and your teachings, and humor continue stronger than ever.

Become a fan on facebook. See the photographs of the actual oak tree and the authors home, as well as a sneak peak at the new book. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Above-His-Shoulders/274131107309?ref=nf