A few months ago I was fortunate to observe a beautiful sunrise. This sunrise was unique, the colors, the moment, and how it came to me was unique. Many times we take these simple pleasures for granted, never completely taking it all in. I have missed that sunrise but revisit her beauty, her calmness in the recesses of my mind. I am sure we all have experienced this sort of awakening at one point in our life; however this was different.

I have struggled with the loss of such a moment, understanding I suppose that it was not a loss but a glimpse of what one can hope to see. A dear friend speaks of rose colored glasses, and we frequently need to put these glasses on. There is truth to her wisdom, sometimes just standing in a different place, looking at a scenario a tiny bit different, can make all the difference, between sadness and hopefulness, or should I say optimism.

Life trauma occurs, we can rise up above it,with time, patience, and a local trip to your five and dime for some rose colored glasses. I do love life so!

Reactions are beginning to flow in , some days slowly, others in rapid fire sequence. All are from people I know, work with, and peers. Comments from,” my God I had no idea ” to ” All children have had something bad happen to them.” Compliments are nice; however I am looking for cynical responses, those are the helpful comments. It seems friends have the inability to be objective, it is easily understood; never the less no matter which way you slice it,a less than honest presentation. What am I looking for? ” nothing and everything.”

I will soon be off on a new journey, off on my own again. Looking for new trails in life. Is this an outgrowth of the abuse? Not a chance. It is a an AHA! experience, knowing myself, being able to be alone again, with the one person I had issues with, “ME.” till next time.

Today on Fathers Day I was honored to watch my daughter-in-law receive her Masters from De Paul University. One of the key note speakers was David Simon the author of “Homicide: A year on the Killing Streets(1991) and most recently the creator,executive producer and head writer of the HBO series ” The Wire.” His speech was down to earth, powerful and on target for our current political climate. It also brought home the point of the importance of ANGER. As he was referring to an individual living In Louisiana, and this persons ability to voice his own anger at the poor inadequate response to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Not the selfish anger that is so often attributed to this helpful emotion but appropriate anger for the RIGHT reasons. Some may call it passion others anger, never the less we need to get in touch with that fire in our belly, a CAUSE, a reason to move forward and a reason to elicit change. In my book, “Above His Shoulders” this emotion, this cause, this fire in the belly is what moved me forward, propelling me to help others who fell to similar circumstances. In the end one can call it anger or call it passion, it is what many of us need to get in touch with, not just for yourself but for our country, our planet and our move forward.

Today I turned fifty one, an appropriate  time to begin my blog. I am a novice at this and will do my best to bring you along on my journey. A few years ago a coworker in a sarcastic manner stated, “Hey Williams, you and your psychobabble, well you must have been sexually abused as a child?”. Without missing a beat in front of a nursing crew, I firmly stated “In fact I was”. He stopped in his tracks, face flushed while heads turned. No other comments were made.

I was very comfortable in my own skin, confident after all the personal work I had done to resolve the pain. Never, absolutely never do I wear my past on my sleeve. No one knew and I had never disclosed my past to my coworkers. There is a time and place for disclosure and I had decided that time is NOW. “Above His Shoulders” is written and now in the final editing stages.

During the last few weeks others have read unedited versions, their comments and reactions have been cascading. Some shocked, others silent, some minimize the fact that I was abused. All of their reactions are ok, individuals need to react however they personally need to react.

I will keep you updated along the way about their reactions and my responses. A mini study if you will looking at fallout, negative and positive, from writing such a self disclosing book. I hope you join in on the blog, it should be an interesting journey for all of us.