Hauntings of the Past

No matter what the life trauma, abuse as a child, rape, and emotionally or physically abusive partner, substance abuse or severe family dysfunction it is next to impossible to deal with the past. One cannot effectively deal with the past without confronting past issues. I am here, to swear to you, “IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.” One can plod through life, however happiness will be sporadic and often a disclosure away.

These haunting’s usually need triggers. Triggers can be emotional, certain verbal statements, or even smells. Any sensory stimulus can trigger the past trauma. It may have to be a new relationship to test the limits of the resolution of past haunting’s. The vast majority of times we are not even aware it is happening. We make judgments, place blame, react with physical symptoms, and can even become nauseous and vomit. Physical symptoms frequently accompany these nightmares from the past. The trouble is that we can project these feelings onto others who have no ill intent.

How do we help the loved one who has been through the emotional hell? One must show unconditional love, be consistent, and  show in behavior over time that you are there for them. Words in this situation are redundant and means very little. The individual MUST see it in behavior, over time to begin to trust. There will always be triggers, there will always be rough times, two individuals can move through the rough times by being there for each other. The limits need to be stretched. Individuals must venture into territory they are not familiar with or uncomfortable with if they are to move forward into the future on a consistent happy path.

We blame ourselves for life trauma, we blame ourselves for fate. Why? There is ALWAYS something positive that comes out of all horrendous events. Sometimes we meet someone that changes our life, maybe we recognize how naive we were and become smarter, maybe we finally see out true potential. Whatever it may be, it is there. Find it! Sitting in a position of self blame, does nothing but give the perpetrator in our life false power. Why in the hell would you want to do that? Ugh, move forward, look back at the past share, recognize, and change. It is possible, only if you are realistic, and are aware there will be tough times and hauntings of the past. The hauntings of the past can be a good thing. They remind us of a path we do not want to go down, they remind us of those that really love us, and those that will stand by our side. Please, remember, haunting’s are just that. A haunting is a past memory that is not going to reoccur unless you give the memory power enough to allow it to occur.

Only you have the strength, do not fool yourself thinking that it goes away miraculously. It does not. Hold someone’s hand you trust, ask for help, love your best friend, and realize that with love comes trust and visa versa. Give it time, make a difference in your life. Life trauma can be a positive event for the future. Through torment comes redemption. Through pain comes healing. Through tears comes laughter. Through being restrained comes growth. Life is short, in the blink of an eye it can be over. Move forward, but know the hauntings will arise and you will be there to laugh in their face, for you are a new person.

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