For the brevity of this blog, I will focus mainly on adult survivors. Treatment interventions vary greatly, dependent on many variables. The age of the victim, relationship to the perpetrator, duration of the abuse, severity of the abuse, coping skills, and family support.
My own treatment was a trial and error path. I have experienced therapists that did not have a clue. Some were plastic and superficial who thought caring was an inflection of voice and a constant smile, as well as caring and genuine individuals that guided me to finding my true self.
Those adults who have acknowledged their abuse, be patient. Understand you may have to go through a few therapists before you find one you can dance with. Those of you out there that feel you have dealt with it fine and do not need to process the trauma, I ask you, why are you reading this blog?
I have finally reached a reckoning, a knowledge of who I am and who the abused person was. I am able to trust, I refuse to be a door mat. I am more in touch with my anger than ever before. A calmness has entered my soul and for the first time I am allowing others to love me.
Distrust and relationships go hand in hand with victims of abuse. Treatment for myself dealt with re framing of what triggers influence anger and sadness which resulted in distancing. I made bad choices in relationships and picked individuals with broken wings, thinking I could mend them. I was the caretaker, a giver, I learned I was diluting myself and not dancing a dance of love.
There are many methods of treatment. There is not one modality that is a cure all for victims. Some may need spiritual guidance, others a gentle approach and others a more firm abrasive confrontation.
I can guarantee you, that therapy one or two times a week will NOT get it done. If you do not work on yourself when you are not in session you will either fail, or relapse.
Life is a dance, we get hurt and experience pain. It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to disclose your pain. With humility, disclosure and hope towards the future the sun WILL shine again. Your true self will be found. You will experience happiness and realize your abuse, although a horrific slice of time in your life is just that, ” a slice of time.” Your future is bright, however you must truly believe it and actually act on this and implement change. There is hope. I am living proof.
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