Victims of abuse that harbor their wounds in silence, have a tendency to lose sight of their attributes. Many adult survivors have not disclosed and have not worked through their pain, allowing it to either encompass their personality or take control over their attributes they have accomplished.

As in the “Wizard of Oz,” the scarecrow without a brain, the tin man without a heart, and the lion without courage always had these gifts within them. It was portrayed so eloquently in their mannerisms, speech, and inflection of their voice.

In reality, no perpetrator has ever stole one’s intelligence,courage, or heart away from them. Yes, it scars, yes, it hurts emotionally, however, these attributes are always there. They may need to be fostered and nurtured, nevertheless they have never left you.

Dorothy always had the ability to go home. Symbolically, her beautiful ruby slippers were the answer. We ALL have the ability to go back to a home of health and strength. Going home to a state of health is simple, the process and desire is the difficult part. .

Life can be as difficult or easy as one wants to make it. Literally is up to us. We all have courage, a heart, and a brain. We must keep them in balance and realize, NO ONE can take these away from us.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly…” That rainbow is always right there above us. Step out of your old shoes of trauma and try on a pair of ruby slippers, go back home to a healthier you. There’s no place like home, especially when that home is a healing heart and soul.

The lingering effects of abuse never completely resolve. Bits and pieces rear their ugly head from time to time. Feelings of insecurity will come to the forefront, such as insecurity in relationships, in the bedroom, as well as feelings of not being accepted.

The key is recognizing these symptoms when they present themselves. Intense self awareness is crucial WITHOUT pointing the finger outward. In an ideal situation, if one is lucky enough to find a partner who is all accepting and has an attentive ear, one will have a partner to lean on.

For all those survivors, male, and female. This is NOT a hopeless situation. At some point, one must see the positive, the positive outcome, ” The Wonderful Life” syndrome, where all incidents are connected by a karmic thread.

If my abuse had not happened, my self exploration would not have occurred, this book would not have been written, friends, and loved ones would not have been met. My path has been altered many times for the good. I have dear friends that are all accepting of my personality and wrap their love around me. I am grateful for those individuals and future ones that will enter my path of life. There are always those who will judge, draw accusations, and cause one to ponder their feelings of self-worth and insecurity. A choice has been given to you. You may move on without them, knowing there will be feelings of pain and loss, or reach out with forgiveness. It is a two-way street, you can not force someone to walk your walk.

I am finally learning to accept love, true love. I am coming down from my fences. It is beneficial to trust and allow yourself to be loved. The outgrowth is feeling more and more secure. To not be rejected with disclosure of insecurity and frailties is an amazing experience.

Continue to try! Dump the term “VICTIM,” for at some point you will find out you are indeed NOT a victim, but a HERO, a hero to yourself and others. Please remember a hero is one who risks their life, their soul, and their heart for another. You can be a hero for yourself, but you must risk if there will ever be a positive change.

Since writing my book, I suppose the most commonly asked question is, Why? Why disclose my history of abuse?  After years of working through the feelings of shame, anger, depression, and anxiety, I felt I could give something back, give something to others who have walked in my shoes. All of us in life are dealt situations that we may not want or that we are not ready for. Whether this is abuse, death of a loved one, economic crisis, divorce, or any one of life’s stressors. We always have a choice how we deal with these experiences. Do we sit back and complain pointing fingers outward, become depressed and frozen, not enjoying life’s daily gifts, or do we confront our issues head on and move through? It took me years to move through it and I am thankful I did. It took perserverance, asking for help,and support from friends, family, and a love of life.

When we try and try, especially in relationships, and the outcome continues to be the same, at some point we need to move on. Life is short. There is too much to experience and too many people that each of us can make an impact on.

By disclosing our traumas of the past and what we have learned, we can give back to those that have had similar experiences. This is true in politics, war, sports,and relationships. How does one ever grow personally and professionally if they do not embrace humility and give back to someone else?

So disclosure for me has been good. It has enlightened me that a new path is beginning and just maybe I can touch someone else’s heart, helping them through a traumatic experience.