Victims of abuse frequently keep their emotions locked in a box or safe within their heart. This is a common phenomenon with rape victims, and individuals who are either not allowed to express their feelings due to verbal repercussions, or not being validated by someone in their life.

My experience has taught me there is really only one way to push through this attack on our self esteem. Risk, risk, risk, find someone you trust, disclose, share. When one is truly loved and accepted it is a win-win situation, allowing one to slowly grow and emotionally “GET BIG.”

When we look back at the past hurt we can view that as fertilizer, the feces of our past, if you will. We can use that for our emotional garden. Hurt, pain and despair are the fertilizer, the substance that is needed for our emotional spirit to grow strong. We must be able to plant the seeds, for if we do not, we look back on a barren garden with no growth and get stuck in a wishing phase.

As a warm fire mesmerizes us and stimulates dreams of the future, we are aware that the hot coals can burn us, causing pain. When these burning embers, the remnants of the strong oak logs cool, their ash makes an excellent fertilizer for our garden. An ember that once could of caused pain can be used to stimulate growth.

A dear friend of mine is beginning to grow. It is an awesome sight to see her get in touch with the hurt of the past, move through it and “GET BIG.” I see her getting stronger. At times she does not realize it;however, it is happening. She is trusting more and more. It is by disclosure and risk that she is growing.

Any past trauma can be fodder for our growth. Unlock the box or safe that has been tucked away. Plant some seeds in that fertilizer of despair and hurt. Risk, watch the growth begin. It needs to be watered and nurtured. There may be some rough times. I assure you, it will be worth the risk. New horizons are just around the corner.