Numerous times I have been alone, in the woods or on a lake, always away from humans. Loneliness, the feeling of aloneness, one without companionship. This is much different than the intolerance of loneliness a feeling where individuals cannot live with themselves.

Loneliness TRUE loneliness appears to only be an outgrowth when one misses their TRUE LOVE. When one finally walks the path of life and experiences true unconditional love, then one will know the true pains of being alone, and the absence of their lovers heart.

Many poets have written about memories of love, the muse of love, as well as the loss of love. I also have experienced this pain, it is new to me as I struggle through it. I know someday I will no longer be alone and two hearts will beat as one.As my past history of abuse strengthened my courage to face my perpetrator, this temporary loss will strengthen my heart, allowing me to give more and fully accept that TRUE LOVE, which from out of no where touched my spirit and gave me hope.

A few months ago I was fortunate to observe a beautiful sunrise. This sunrise was unique, the colors, the moment, and how it came to me was unique. Many times we take these simple pleasures for granted, never completely taking it all in. I have missed that sunrise but revisit her beauty, her calmness in the recesses of my mind. I am sure we all have experienced this sort of awakening at one point in our life; however this was different.

I have struggled with the loss of such a moment, understanding I suppose that it was not a loss but a glimpse of what one can hope to see. A dear friend speaks of rose colored glasses, and we frequently need to put these glasses on. There is truth to her wisdom, sometimes just standing in a different place, looking at a scenario a tiny bit different, can make all the difference, between sadness and hopefulness, or should I say optimism.

Life trauma occurs, we can rise up above it,with time, patience, and a local trip to your five and dime for some rose colored glasses. I do love life so!

Reactions are beginning to flow in , some days slowly, others in rapid fire sequence. All are from people I know, work with, and peers. Comments from,” my God I had no idea ” to ” All children have had something bad happen to them.” Compliments are nice; however I am looking for cynical responses, those are the helpful comments. It seems friends have the inability to be objective, it is easily understood; never the less no matter which way you slice it,a less than honest presentation. What am I looking for? ” nothing and everything.”

I will soon be off on a new journey, off on my own again. Looking for new trails in life. Is this an outgrowth of the abuse? Not a chance. It is a an AHA! experience, knowing myself, being able to be alone again, with the one person I had issues with, “ME.” till next time.