Today I turned fifty one, an appropriate time to begin my blog. I am a novice at this and will do my best to bring you along on my journey. A few years ago a coworker in a sarcastic manner stated, “Hey Williams, you and your psychobabble, well you must have been sexually abused as a child?”. Without missing a beat in front of a nursing crew, I firmly stated “In fact I was”. He stopped in his tracks, face flushed while heads turned. No other comments were made.
I was very comfortable in my own skin, confident after all the personal work I had done to resolve the pain. Never, absolutely never do I wear my past on my sleeve. No one knew and I had never disclosed my past to my coworkers. There is a time and place for disclosure and I had decided that time is NOW. “Above His Shoulders” is written and now in the final editing stages.
During the last few weeks others have read unedited versions, their comments and reactions have been cascading. Some shocked, others silent, some minimize the fact that I was abused. All of their reactions are ok, individuals need to react however they personally need to react.
I will keep you updated along the way about their reactions and my responses. A mini study if you will looking at fallout, negative and positive, from writing such a self disclosing book. I hope you join in on the blog, it should be an interesting journey for all of us.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Forgiveness is a difficult thing, especially when we need to forgive those that we counted on as young children to help us learn about life. But, I have found that forgiveness is necessary for my happiness and my ability to grow. I applaud those who are able to face the past and the present and forgive so the soul can be cleansed and freed from the baggage we had to carry for so long.
Yes I agree, one can never fully grow unless there is true forgiveness. Some hang on to ideology, or wrap themselves around a cause in place of forgiveness. In reality they have not fully cleansed, but have shoved it deep down, or replaced it with a superficial cloak. TRUE forgiveness is difficult, one knows when they are at peace with themselves. It sounds like you have found that peace Bill. Congratulations. Thank you for the post.
Wow, all I have to say is thank you. By putting forgiveness in that perspective I have come to realize many things within myself. I’ve been wearing that “cloak” for some time now. I just hope I can get rid of it. One step at a time.
One may never totally lose the cloak. At times it will be shed, revealing awesome changes that come your way. It is by looking inside at yourself, the dark side we all have. Many have difficulty acknowledging this side, the side where we all become faced with our demons, if you will. Those beliefs that we have manufactured as a child due to pain and life experience. A false-self, an image we want others to see, when in fact it is not who we are at all. When we learn through time and pain, then we begin to learn about the true self. The hope is that we will reach an acceptance level of peace within. Good luck. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Dan
I was on the doctors office website, because I had brought my son in last night for a doctor visit with you, and I clicked the link to this website. I was meant to find this. I really needed to find this right now. I can’t wait to read your book. Thank you.
I also agree with Stephanie that I was meant to find your website now as well. I have worked on my issues as well but they keep resurfacing and know I feel this incredible need to heal for myself and no one else. This very profound sense of wanting to heal from my traumas started while I was on a Pilgrimage in the Holy Land last month.
Thank you for your courage Dr. Williams and for the powerful book that I will be buying this week.
Maria,
Thank you so much for your kind words. The resurfacing of your issues will continue but they will reoccur at a much slower pace. You clearly have passion and desire to move forward. It is not easy, however the pay off is amazing. I have learned it is not the trauma that we experience in life but how we approach the trauma that is important. You are approaching the trauma from an area of strength and wanting it to abate. You will succeed. Life is not just seeing the positive but living it. Make it real, make it happen.
In peace and healing,
Dan Williams
Please be aware the purchase of your book will help others as I am donating a portion to treatment centers for abused children.
Dear Dan,
Thank you so much for coming to Boylan to speak. I just wanted to thank you for being honest about everything and about your life, i wish i could do the same sometimes. I am truly hoping to buy this book on Friday. Hopefully I can talk to you more later on.
Thank you again for coming to speak!
Thank you so much for writing. I appreciate the compliment. I just hope to make a little bit of a difference in someone’s life by sharing my story. I will use your comments on the page but will not use your name. I hope you enjoy the book, your feedback is appreciated. Please spread the word. The more individuals that learn about these kind of traumas, the more impact we can make. We can all make a difference.
Dan
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisble to the eyes.” This is a quote from the book “THE LITTLE PRINCE.” Dan beautifully writes about a topic of interest to all of society. He openly spills his heart out to his readers about hurting and mending. Suffering is such a horrible thing, yet we can grow and become stronger. Dan’s shares his experiences,wanting to make the world a better place for those who have been abused. Dan illustrates how conquering ones fears is a very liberating and healthy thing to do. The many metaphors the author uses paints a clear picture of the intense feelings that were significatnt in his life. As a former teacher, I have dealt with issues of abuse. Only if more professionals like Dan would step up to the plate and become involved. I would like to encourage all educators to read Dan’s book. Knowledge is power and Dan has much to share that any professional could use.
RW
Six times, “Who is Who Among American Teachers.”
Rockford Golden Apple Academy
I give one of my poems to honor Dan’s books. If you read the book, you will know what how each verse applies to Dan’s life. God bless, peace, and harmony.
Your Dreams
Keep in touch with your dreams
For they are yours alone
Glittering stars within your mind and soul
Put wings on your dreams and soar to new heights
For in life’s clouds, your dreams will appear
Cup your hands and do not fear
Those glittering stars will brighlty appear
Only if you believe in your dreams
R.W.
Thank you so much. Your comments have touched my heart. Thank you for the poem. I appreciate you spreading the word. I am hoping my book can help others who have had a similar path and those that have not, learn how to give back to others. We all can make a difference one step at a time. Your kindness means a great deal. Thank you again for your words, your time, and reading my story.
Dan
wow this book is so relevent to me thank you so much, im sure it will help in the healing process